Saturday, November 1, 2014

Reflections on All Souls Day: Reasons why we hang out in cemeteries

I've always been aware of the Filipino tradition of loved ones spending the night and into the wee hours of the morning hanging around in the cemetery during the eve of November 1, but have never really experienced it or fully understood why. For the past years, as long as I can remember, my side of the family (before I got married) had always had the tradition of celebrating mass together and then blessing crypts of those who have passed. Even when my son Giovanni passed 2 years ago, he was cremated after the funeral and we would always just do a quick visit to the crypt and say a short prayer since crypts are not really conducive for "hanging out."

But since my mother-in-law, mom Marilyn passed last month, the family had honored her request to be buried in the cemetery and not cremated. This November 1 was the first time for me and my kids (my husband and his family would always have this tradition before we got married) to actually spend hours literally hanging out by my mother-in-law's grave.

Let me talk about my experience. Upon arrival at Manila Memorial, I was still in awe at how many people were there, setting up camp (literally with tents) by their loved ones graves. Some bigger families with their own mausoleums would even go to the extent to have catered food and big portable fans to keep family fed and cool. Others had their own portable devices-- I even saw one spot with a TV!, while others (like us), lit candles and had a flashlights. For some that didn't have the time to bring their own food, there was a vast array of food stalls lining the streets, including well known food establishments selling food 'til the wee hours.

This is me and my husband, Santi with our eldest, Santino.
We walked a few minutes to the nearest pizza station where we had the option to "dine in or take out"

I swear if I wasn't aware of the graves, I'd think I was in some kind of outdoor festival. There were even vendors selling toys and things that lit up… which of course were jacked up prices since I ended up buying my son a battery operated fan (hardly any air coming out) that lit up for P90!

My family and I were there (with the rest of my in-laws) from 7pm-12mn, while some other relatives were even there much earlier. We put out a mat, umbrella and foldable chairs and just hung-out. I always wondered why. What was the reason for people to brave the traffic and the heat and the bugs and the hassle and just hang out.

I googled possible answers but words like tradition, honoring and culture popped up. The best way I could understand this was finally being able to experience it first hand. It all just boils down to being with family. Even though you are there to "celebrate" someone who has passed and someone who you can no longer be with, it's keeping their memory alive through sharing the stories and just really bonding with the people who are still in your life right now. If there's one thing that death has taught me, is that it brings family closer. In the end, when money, career and popularity fade, all you have is family. As the saying goes, friends fade, but family is forever.


Thank you Giovanni, and thank you Mom Marilyn for loving me and my little family unconditionally, and for teaching me what it is to be more loving, kind and generous to the family that we still have here left on earth. Until we see each other again.




Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Raising a safety-savvy family

I regularly contribute to SP online and one of the most recent articles they asked me to write was about safety. In this day and age, it has become so alarming for parents with all the news about kidnappings, modus and all the bad things that SHOULD NEVER happen to our families, especially our children. Making this article was also a refresher course, like a checklist for me to make sure that my family is safety-savvy. Read on and let me know out of all the tips, which one is your family practicing?

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It’s always better to be safe than sorry. Here are some helpful tips on how to be safety-savvy. (Published on Smart Parenting online)


IF you turn on the television, listen to the radio or browse the Internet and social media sites, you would definitely notice the alarming increase in kidnapping and untoward incidents involving children. As a parent, you not only feel for the children and parents involved, but also pray that such an instance may never happen to you and your own child/children.

Prevalence of unscrupulous characters should not, by any means, hinder children from enjoying life to the fullest. Instead, parents, guardians, family members and our trusted kasambahays must equip themselves with the knowledge and know-how in keeping our children safe.

Please read on for some very helpful safety tips that all members of your household should be educated with.

1.    Trust only the people you know well.
It’s important to teach your kids to know who to trust. Constantly remind your kids that even though other people may seem friendly and nice, this does not mean that they should, by any means, go with them. Encourage your kids to let you know right away if someone is trying to talk to them or is staring at them.

2.    Keep a list of emergency numbers in your home.
Often times when both parents are working parents, children are left home with our trusted kasambahays. We must then equip them with the knowledge and quick thinking when it comes to emergencies. Having a list of important numbers they can call is essential. *Note: Talk to your help also about the popular dugo-dugo gang modus. Stress that in times of emergency; they should call you or a close family member to verify.

3.    Be involved in all your kids’ activities.
Get to know the other children your son or daughter spends time or plays with. Attend school activities, events and extra curricular activities your child is involved in. Be a hands-on parent as much as possible.

4.    Have a listening ear.
Ask your child how his/her day went. Pay attention to the stories they mention or talk about. For younger kids, this is the best way to learn about what happens when mom or dad is not around, be it in the classroom or in other school and extra-curricular activities. If your child starts making kwento something that is disturbing to you, set an appointment with the teacher to discuss.

5.    Keep mum.
Some things are just best left private. This most especially goes for our yayas. Oftentimes they take the kids out for a walk or to play in the park or a common area where other yayas and kids also frequent. Remind your househelp not to divulge any detailed information like a child’s school, schedule/routine, places that the family frequents, recent material purchases or talk about upcoming days that no one will be home and the like. This is to avoid any possible “temptations” to others who may be listening.

6.    Always hang around well-lit areas or populated areas when waiting.
Often times it can’t be avoided that there is idle time waiting. Always pick a place where you and your kid won’t be alone or in a badly lit area at night. Instead of hanging around a deserted street corner, opt to wait at a nearby 7-11, coffee shop or even gas station.

7.    Limit what you share on social media.
Click, Upload…. Wait! Take a moment to think before you click that share button for the whole World Wide Web to see. How much information do you need to divulge? I know you’re proud of your son’s achievements in school, but maybe you can opt to not include a picture of his section or ID number in the photo. You can also check your privacy settings. Most social networking sites provide this feature. This way, you can share away to family and trusted friends.

8.    Never ever leave kids unattended.
Everything can happen in a blink of an eye. Parents and guardians need to be alert and aware at all times, especially if you are in crowded areas. It has become very alarmingly rampant for abductions to happen in malls. Always have an eye on your children. Nothing is ever more important than your child’s safety.

9.    Be accessible incase of emergencies.
If you can, provide your kid’s yaya with a mobile phone for easy contact for you both, anywhere and anytime.

10. Teach kids how to say their name, age, phone number and address.
At an early age, you can already train your kids to know important information about them. This comes in handy when they’re lost or need help.

11. Talk to your child about the dangers of abduction… in a non threatening way.
Never hide the truth. Parents should always be open to their children especially when talking about the dangers “out there.” What’s important is that it is explained in a non-threatening way. Do not, by any means, instill fear in your child. Empowerment and knowledge is key.

12. Always double check locked windows and doors.
Be it at home or in the car, always make sure all doors and windows are locked. Don’t make it easy for intruders to get in your home or car.

13. Remind your kasambahays not to entertain anyone they don’t know unless you left word about it.
There is no excuse for ignorance. Even if it takes constant reminders, always tell your kasambahays or whoever is left at home with the kids, to never entertain people that are not expected.

14. Invest in CCTV.
The best “eyes” you can have when away while being so convenient since you can check on it from any mobile device.

15. Be social media savvy. It’s good to be on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.
Be up to date on important service announcements or issues that may be of good use to you and your family. Learn from the experience of others. Stay safe and informed.

16. Don’t hang out in deserted areas after hours.
You are not a leading character in a horror movie. Stay out of deserted areas.

17.  Never go near someone in a car asking for directions.
Stay a safe distance away from anyone asking directions from inside a car, especially if it’s a heavily tinted one. Raise your voice to be heard, or if you feel uncomfortable, don’t say anything at all. You are not obliged to give directions.

18. (In another perspective) When asking for directions, no need to open your window all the way down.
The inside of your vehicle is your safe zone. Don’t let anyone cross into that zone.

19. Carry handheld or pocket-sized pepper spray.
Your family’s best defense is a quick and reliable one. You can purchase a pocket pepper spray at any local hardware store (try Ace or True Value).

20. Pray and always ask for the Lord’s guidance and protection.

There’s nothing stronger than divine protection.

Monday, May 5, 2014

Heaven is indeed for real.

I recently got invited to a special screening of the movie "Heaven is for Real" by PLDT Home DSL. This was one of the movies I was really watching out for since I read the book it was based on a few years ago. It's a story about a child who had an out of body experience and got to spend some time in heaven. Isn't that just amazing? What I wouldn't do to spend time in heaven (hopefully forever when my time comes :)).

After reading the book and watching the movie based on the real-life events that happened to the Burpo family, it just made me appreciate and work on having stronger connections within my own family. I was able to watch this screening with my husband and eldest son, Santino (5 1/2 yrs old). It's really a different feeling when you're able to connect with a child who can sit through a movie (non-animation) and understand the story and message behind the movie. :)

Heaven is something we talk a lot about in our family. It's one of our favorite subjects actually. :) What it would be like, how to get there and how one day, we can all be complete as a family with their brother Giovanni... one day in heaven.

I was really amazed at how my son understood the whole concept of heaven and how much he enjoyed how heaven was described and shown in the movie.. plus of course all the free popcorn helped in putting him in a good mood. ha ha.

Kudos to PLDT for arranging this special screening. I was equally entertained when the Ledesma family from the "Ask Diego" TVC spoke a bit in front since Diego himself reminded me so much of Santino. That stage where they're curious about "girls" -- sometimes they live them, sometimes they hate 'em. haha. When Diego was talking about "how to get a girlfriend" I couldn't help but nudge my boy and told him to "listen to Diego's advice." To which my son replied, "he said treat her like your mama! That's you, mom!" Good advice, Diego!

So thanks, PLDT Home. Fun night, great movie, good advice for my son and a strong, reliable family-sized connection allowing me to post this blog post. Not to mention, limitless family sharing makes this blog soooo easy for my family to view, share and like! :) hooray!

Ps: have a love question for Diego? Ask him here- facebook.com/askdiego

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Foodie Diary: Entry #1

Okay. So I don't consider myself a certified foodie. I'm just someone who enjoys a good meal, and I want to share these yummy food finds with you. I guess you can say that I have a sort of discriminating taste, so trust me when I say that these dishes are worth discovering! Check it out below... my favorites.. as in I could eat this all day everyday! #medyobaboy

Happy Eating :)
PS: this list is is no particular yummy order.

#1 Family Mart's Twirl-All-You-Can ice cream.


Yes you read that right. TWIRL. ALL. YOU. CAN. Well, twirl all you can at one go that is. But still WHAT A DEAL for P25 pesos!! Trust me, get the mixed flavor. Green tea (although I never was a fan of green tea because it always seemed "mapait" to me, but this is so good) and salted caramel are my favorites! Family Mart likes to mix it up in the different branches. This one (pictured) is green tea and vanilla. At another branch I saw dark chocolate.

For those who are notaware, Family Mart is like a high-end 7-11... but still affordable. I also love their selection of Japanese food and have been wanting to try their coffee slush!

#2 Press Cafe's Chicken Boulade.

I've always been interested in food "wrapped", wether fajitas (Chili's is always a favorite) or burritos (Silantro's is good too). This one is yummy but does not feel guilty at all. I feel healthy eating this dish. haha. Basically it's chicken and leafy greens with honey mustard dressing wrapped in a lightly toasted thin pita-like/ soft shell. Not to mention it has drizzles of balsamic vinegar which makes it even yummier! Definitely can gobble this up in like 5 minutes! ha ha.








#3 Silantro's Beef Nachos

I recently discovered this mexican resto in Kapitolyo (would you believe I've lived in Pasig for almost 3 years now and have not yet explored the vast restos in Kapitolyo yet), Silantro. OH EM GEE. Thank you to whoever owns this place because it's SUPER YUMMY. Not to mention easy on the wallet. My favorite is the beef nachos. My Gawd, just look at that photo? Does it do the dish justice? If your mouth is watering right now, then yes. The nachos are super light and crispy and the shreds of beef are so soft! Capped with melted cheese (seems like 2 kinds) and that garnish just makes it the perfect bite.


 For those who aren't into beef, they also have a chicken version and that's equally good.



#4 Cafe Mary Grace's Beef Tapa.
I will say this to whoever will listen. You MUST TRY the Cafe Mary Grace Beef Tapa!! OMG i love it!! As a breakfast food lover, this takes the cake!! The tapa is not so sweet and not so spicy, tender and yummy. Paired with their special rosemary rice and your choice of sunny-sideup or scrambled eggs.. heaven!! And as If that wasn't enough, they have this amazing vinegar sauce and sides of green mango strips and cubed tomato with onions that are just mouthwatering! Makes me want to go there right now. haha. YUM.




#5 CBTL's Classic Cesar Salad (with extra chicken)

When I'm in a "healthy mood" or am on the-go or rushing from one place to another, this is my favorite go-to dish. A lot of times people don't really think the food in known-coffee or tea places are SO GOOD, but this IS. Light, crisp, crunchy and very tasty. Ask them to add on Chicken to the salad and have them "toss" it already. I especially love the think slices of queso de bola on top.











I hope this simple post made you as hungry as I am right now. haha.
Til the next Food Diary.


xoxo,
Vania