A Mom's reflection on Mother's Day

I've been feeling kind of blue the past few days prior to yesterday (May 12), Mother's Day. It's that same feeling you get when your birthday is about to come up and you get the birthday blues. Never thought I would feel this way about yet another special occasion. Christmas and New Years since my Giovanni had passed was difficult enough... now I have to add Mother's day as well? :( Sigh. I guess it's just that feeling that I'm "less of a mom" since I lost one child. I can't explain, and I don't think I really fully want to understand either. I guess add that to the fact that I'm 7 months along (with raging hormones) and Giovnni's 2nd bday and 1st death anniversary is fast approaching as well. Overwhelming would probably be an understatement. Yet I do know that God does not give us challenges without giving us the graces to overcome it as well. I can only pray for much more grace and strength for the coming months. Don't even get me started on when D (as in Delivery) day comes.. have not processed that yet. I may be bawling the whole time.

I do understand that this blog might be a bit depressing to read.. sorry for that. :) Just need an outlet for everything. And maybe help other moms (or none moms) coping with something similar to get through each day. That's all we can do anyway, get through one day at a time.

I am not however, a grouch or a scrooge. I still do appreciate all the greetings, and most especially, my other 2 kids plus one more on the way. I would also like to share my mother's day message...

To my 4 greatest treasures, Santino, Ysabella, Giovanni & Baby Dominic, my life is infinitely blessed because of all of you. My biggest achievement in this lifetime is to be your mama. And to my angel Giovanni, I look forward to the day I will hold you in my arms once again. Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful, strong & hardworking moms out there. 

And to my ideal superwoman. A pillar of strength that my family and I can always lean on. Thank you for putting up w all my craziness (w/c are probably from u anyway) and for being just a constant presence in our family esp through the most difficult of times. For the unwavering support & unconditional love. I love you, mom!!!