But since my mother-in-law, mom Marilyn passed last month, the family had honored her request to be buried in the cemetery and not cremated. This November 1 was the first time for me and my kids (my husband and his family would always have this tradition before we got married) to actually spend hours literally hanging out by my mother-in-law's grave.
Let me talk about my experience. Upon arrival at Manila Memorial, I was still in awe at how many people were there, setting up camp (literally with tents) by their loved ones graves. Some bigger families with their own mausoleums would even go to the extent to have catered food and big portable fans to keep family fed and cool. Others had their own portable devices-- I even saw one spot with a TV!, while others (like us), lit candles and had a flashlights. For some that didn't have the time to bring their own food, there was a vast array of food stalls lining the streets, including well known food establishments selling food 'til the wee hours.
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| This is me and my husband, Santi with our eldest, Santino. We walked a few minutes to the nearest pizza station where we had the option to "dine in or take out" |
I swear if I wasn't aware of the graves, I'd think I was in some kind of outdoor festival. There were even vendors selling toys and things that lit up… which of course were jacked up prices since I ended up buying my son a battery operated fan (hardly any air coming out) that lit up for P90!
My family and I were there (with the rest of my in-laws) from 7pm-12mn, while some other relatives were even there much earlier. We put out a mat, umbrella and foldable chairs and just hung-out. I always wondered why. What was the reason for people to brave the traffic and the heat and the bugs and the hassle and just hang out.
I googled possible answers but words like tradition, honoring and culture popped up. The best way I could understand this was finally being able to experience it first hand. It all just boils down to being with family. Even though you are there to "celebrate" someone who has passed and someone who you can no longer be with, it's keeping their memory alive through sharing the stories and just really bonding with the people who are still in your life right now. If there's one thing that death has taught me, is that it brings family closer. In the end, when money, career and popularity fade, all you have is family. As the saying goes, friends fade, but family is forever.
Thank you Giovanni, and thank you Mom Marilyn for loving me and my little family unconditionally, and for teaching me what it is to be more loving, kind and generous to the family that we still have here left on earth. Until we see each other again.
