Goodbye, Giovanni.

Yesterday we buried my sweet, sweet baby boy. Our little bunso, Giovanni.
I love you so much Giovanni!!!!!!

Eulogy for Giovanni Paolo+

September 1, 2012

Honestly, I don’t know what to say. I never in my wildest imagination ever thought I would find myself in this situation. I feel like I’m watching a sad movie and I’m the main character. I feel like this is all a dream and I will suddenly wake up and find Giovanni sitting beside me on our bed, waiting for me to give him his bottle of milk.

Whenever I look at you, pictures or at things that you used Giovanni, my tummy feels like it’s tied in knots and there is a very heavy feeling tugging at my heart. I guess that is what heartache feels like.  My heart aches Giovanni, that I can no longer hold you in my arms and kiss your chubby feet or stubby hands. My heart aches, Giovanni, that I wont be able to see your dimpled smile or hear your cute cute laugh. My heart aches Giovanni, that I will not ever see you again reach out to me and say “Mama” when you want to be carried. My heart aches Giovanni, that I will not see your big eyes staring so lovingly at me again. My heart aches Giovanni and there’s nothing I can do about it.

I love you so much Giovanni. I always tell people that you are my sweetest baby. From the moment you popped out of my womb and I saw you for the first time, I could already see your kind and gentle soul. You never gave me a hard time in all your 1 year and 9 days of life. At just 5 months you would already sleep through the night giving me the much needed rest that I needed. You would not cry or complain unless you were really hungry or were in dire need of a diaper change. You didn’t mind when your Kuya and Ate would pinch your chubby cheeks and say “you’re so cuuuuute!” or when Kuya and Ate would be so rough especially when giving you a big bear hug. You didn’t mind when I dressed you up in a monkey costume made of wool for Halloween, or when I would tie your then long hair into a high ponytail making you look like a Japanese baby samurai. I love you Giovanni.

You came unexpectedly into our lives (just 1 year & 3 months after Ate) and left, just as unexpectedly. But for the whole 1 year and 9 days with us, you filled those days with lots and lots of love.  I am grateful that we got to have that special spur of the moment family vacation in Boracay (which was a trip of many firsts for you) and especially that we got to celebrate your 1^st birthday with all our family and friends. It was a simple celebration, but the people that mattered most were all accounted for. It was as if you already knew you would be gone soon and so you gave us numerous memories filled with special moments with you. I love you Giovanni.

Seeing all the people here and everyone that visited over the past few days, not to mention the countless emails, calls, texts, tweets and FB messages, it just goes to show how much you have touched people in your brief life on earth.  You truly are such a special baby. So special, that God wanted to take you early so you could already be with Him in heaven. I am so very grateful to have been chosen to be your mama. My life is infinitely blessed because I was able to call you mine. I thank God for giving you to me Giovanni, even for just a short time.

I love you so so so much my baby boy. I will never ever forget you. Please watch over us always my little saint. I still don’t know how I will cope without you, but I know you will help me get through everyday. See you in my dreams for now Giovanni, until we meet again. I love you. 

Love always and forever, Mama.

I love you my baby. Until we see each other again.