Raising a safety-savvy family

I regularly contribute to SP online and one of the most recent articles they asked me to write was about safety. In this day and age, it has become so alarming for parents with all the news about kidnappings, modus and all the bad things that SHOULD NEVER happen to our families, especially our children. Making this article was also a refresher course, like a checklist for me to make sure that my family is safety-savvy. Read on and let me know out of all the tips, which one is your family practicing?

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It’s always better to be safe than sorry. Here are some helpful tips on how to be safety-savvy. (Published on Smart Parenting online)

IF you turn on the television, listen to the radio or browse the Internet and social media sites, you would definitely notice the alarming increase in kidnapping and untoward incidents involving children. As a parent, you not only feel for the children and parents involved, but also pray that such an instance may never happen to you and your own child/children.

Prevalence of unscrupulous characters should not, by any means, hinder children from enjoying life to the fullest. Instead, parents, guardians, family members and our trusted kasambahays must equip themselves with the knowledge and know-how in keeping our children safe.

Please read on for some very helpful safety tips that all members of your household should be educated with.

1.    Trust only the people you know well.

It’s important to teach your kids to know who to trust. Constantly remind your kids that even though other people may seem friendly and nice, this does not mean that they should, by any means, go with them. Encourage your kids to let you know right away if someone is trying to talk to them or is staring at them.

2.    Keep a list of emergency numbers in your home.

Often times when both parents are working parents, children are left home with our trusted kasambahays. We must then equip them with the knowledge and quick thinking when it comes to emergencies. Having a list of important numbers they can call is essential. *Note: Talk to your help also about the popular dugo-dugo gang modus. Stress that in times of emergency; they should call you or a close family member to verify.

3.    Be involved in all your kids’ activities.

Get to know the other children your son or daughter spends time or plays with. Attend school activities, events and extra curricular activities your child is involved in. Be a hands-on parent as much as possible.

4.    Have a listening ear.

Ask your child how his/her day went. Pay attention to the stories they mention or talk about. For younger kids, this is the best way to learn about what happens when mom or dad is not around, be it in the classroom or in other school and extra-curricular activities. If your child starts making kwento something that is disturbing to you, set an appointment with the teacher to discuss.

5.    Keep mum.

Some things are just best left private. This most especially goes for our yayas. Oftentimes they take the kids out for a walk or to play in the park or a common area where other yayas and kids also frequent. Remind your househelp not to divulge any detailed information like a child’s school, schedule/routine, places that the family frequents, recent material purchases or talk about upcoming days that no one will be home and the like. This is to avoid any possible “temptations” to others who may be listening.

6.    Always hang around well-lit areas or populated areas when waiting.

Often times it can’t be avoided that there is idle time waiting. Always pick a place where you and your kid won’t be alone or in a badly lit area at night. Instead of hanging around a deserted street corner, opt to wait at a nearby 7-11, coffee shop or even gas station.

7.    Limit what you share on social media.

Click, Upload…. Wait! Take a moment to think before you click that share button for the whole World Wide Web to see. How much information do you need to divulge? I know you’re proud of your son’s achievements in school, but maybe you can opt to not include a picture of his section or ID number in the photo. You can also check your privacy settings. Most social networking sites provide this feature. This way, you can share away to family and trusted friends.

8.    Never ever leave kids unattended.

Everything can happen in a blink of an eye. Parents and guardians need to be alert and aware at all times, especially if you are in crowded areas. It has become very alarmingly rampant for abductions to happen in malls. Always have an eye on your children. Nothing is ever more important than your child’s safety.

9.    Be accessible incase of emergencies.

If you can, provide your kid’s yaya with a mobile phone for easy contact for you both, anywhere and anytime.

10. Teach kids how to say their name, age, phone number and address.

At an early age, you can already train your kids to know important information about them. This comes in handy when they’re lost or need help.

11. Talk to your child about the dangers of abduction… in a non threatening way.

Never hide the truth. Parents should always be open to their children especially when talking about the dangers “out there.” What’s important is that it is explained in a non-threatening way. Do not, by any means, instill fear in your child. Empowerment and knowledge is key.

12. Always double check locked windows and doors.

Be it at home or in the car, always make sure all doors and windows are locked. Don’t make it easy for intruders to get in your home or car.

13. Remind your kasambahays not to entertain anyone they don’t know unless you left word about it.

There is no excuse for ignorance. Even if it takes constant reminders, always tell your kasambahays or whoever is left at home with the kids, to never entertain people that are not expected.

14. Invest in CCTV.

The best “eyes” you can have when away while being so convenient since you can check on it from any mobile device.

15. Be social media savvy. It’s good to be on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.

Be up to date on important service announcements or issues that may be of good use to you and your family. Learn from the experience of others. Stay safe and informed.

16. Don’t hang out in deserted areas after hours.

You are not a leading character in a horror movie. Stay out of deserted areas.

17.  Never go near someone in a car asking for directions.

Stay a safe distance away from anyone asking directions from inside a car, especially if it’s a heavily tinted one. Raise your voice to be heard, or if you feel uncomfortable, don’t say anything at all. You are not obliged to give directions.

18. (In another perspective) When asking for directions, no need to open your window all the way down.

The inside of your vehicle is your safe zone. Don’t let anyone cross into that zone.

19. Carry handheld or pocket-sized pepper spray.

Your family’s best defense is a quick and reliable one. You can purchase a pocket pepper spray at any local hardware store (try Ace or True Value).

20. Pray and always ask for the Lord’s guidance and protection.

There’s nothing stronger than divine protection.

Positive Parenting

Since the article is already out (and has been for quite a while now) just wanted to re-post the article I did for SP Online about Positive Parenting. :) You can also find the official post in their website here.

Positive Parenting: 10 Phrases that will Make your Child Listen  

Your child will be more attentive and will be more likely to follow if you use positive words instead.

Ever catch yourself always beginning sentences with “Don’t…” or “Stop…” when talking to your kids? It’s a very common thing for moms to be saying these same lines over and over again with little or no effect at all. So before frustration and exasperation set in, think about trying a different approach. When dealing with determined kids, an effective way of getting your message across is using positive reinforcement.

Here are 10 common “nay” statements that can be turned to “ayes”:

1. Instead of “Don’t do that!”
Try “Mommy would be happy to see you do this instead.”

2. Instead of “Stop crying or else!” or “Don’t be a cry baby.”
Try “I know that you felt bad about what happened, Mommy is here to help you.”

3. Instead of “I’m busy.”
Try “I want to play with you. Mommy just needs to finish something important and then we can play.”

4. Instead of “Hurry up!” or “Move faster!”
Try “Can Mommy help you with what you are doing?”

5. Instead of “Stop that!”
Try “If you continue to do that, you might hurt yourself.”


6. Instead of “You’re so kulit!”
Try “Can you be Mommy’s little helper and do this (a chore) for me?”

7. Instead of “You never learn!”
Try “You are a big boy/girl already. You already know what you should and shouldn’t do.”

8. Instead of “You don’t listen to me!”
Try “Mommy will really be happy if you follow what I say.”

9. Instead of “Why can’t you be more like your other sibling?”
Try “Your brother/sister is doing something really pleasing to Mommy, You should do that as well.”

10. Instead of “Hala! Isusumbong kita kay Daddy.”
Try “Remember what Mommy said about that (fault)? You should know what to do by now.”

Remember, kids don’t respond well to commands, especially if you are asking them to do something other than what they want. The best strategy is to explain why you want your child to do a particular thing. Try using these alternative statements when faced with similar situations and you just might get the response you are looking for.

Make sure that you also devote enough time with your kids, because one of the reasons children often act up is because they are seeking your attention. It is important to have that special “mommy and me” time, as it will surely boost your child’s confidence and self-worth.

Why My Children Make Me Proud

Often times in the busyness of life and everyday things to do-- be it work, preparing meals or doing errands and chores, and just the million and one things that moms (and wives) do to run a household, we tend to get caught up in the "craziness" and tend to focus on the little and seemingly unimportant things that our children do to make us proud. I am guilty at times when I catch myself scolding my kids for this and that, and then realizing.. hey, this is no longer healthy. Sound familiar? I bet it is. You know what I do? I take a moment (even just a few seconds will do) for myself and remind myself that children don't think the way I do, and therefore do not act in ways we expect them to. Breath in. Breath out. Now smile and tell Kuya to "please don't do that." :)

These past few weeks have been quite hectic but precious moments spent with my little ones and how fast they are growing and blooming can't help but make me feel soooo proud!! Our eldest, Santino, who has been part of a number of wedding entourage's in the past has NEVER walked down the aisle. And I mean never with matching bawling and tantrums refusing to wear his coat and tie. And so naturally, when he was asked yet again to be part of a friend's entourage last week, my husband and I found ourselves talking to the couple to actually think of having another bible bearer instead. I guess the soon-to-be newlyweds had much more faith in him than we did coz they insisted. And to cut thr long story short, my husband and I were floored when Santino not only wore his coat and tie (YESS!) but he ALSO walked down the aisle by himself and even posed for pictures!!! Even to this day this thought bring such a smile to my face!  I was over the moon that day.  Just goes to show that you can't really limit a person's capabilities and believe in people because good things will happen when you believe and trust in people you love. :)

Our Bible bearer!!! :)

Super good mood. Posing with Daddy.